Week fourteen is over and done, and only one team has clinched a playoff spot, meaning it is all coming down to the very end.
Player of the week goes to Lamar Jackson for team Thunder Thighs! Jackson's 386 overall yards and 3 touchdowns accounted for 37.64 fantasy points for Mike's team.
Can you believe we are down to just one week left in the regular season? It's gone by so quickly. I guess that happens when your team sucks ass and you've had nothing to play for for several weeks now. I know I said I'd focus on the playoff contenders first from now on, but my team was so unbelievably bad this week I feel we have to start there...
Show me the TDs (9-5) 176.60 vs Dynastic Dan (5-9) 83.54
Read that again. 83.54 points. It was the second lowest scoring point total in the league this year. That dubious record is held by My Team in week 7 when they scored 62.86 points. My loss might be even worse, because My Team left 5 empty spots in his lineup that week, and I didn't leave any. Ouch.
Things were rotten for Dynastic Dan from top to bottom. I know I want to lose so I can get a good draft pick next year, but believe it or not I fielded my best team. Justin Herbert left the game with an injury after scoring 1.84 points. Vita Vea left with an injury after scoring 0. Khalil Herbert had 0.8 points. Michael Mayer had 1.90. My IDP combined for 18 points. They usually score something like 30 to 40 a game, at the very least. JaMarr Chase was was awful with 4.40 points. Only one player scored a TD for my team, and that was Jahmyr Gibbs - who was the only player to show up this week with 15.7 points. An absolutely dreadful performance all-around. Maybe the worst in Rad Dynasty history. And now I have no quarterback for the final week of the season. I'm going to have to cut a player from my team to make room for someone like Desmond Ridder or Joe Flacco or Easton Stick - and I'm not happy about that, considering I 100% won't even be keeping that quarterback next year. But I don't want to leave a spot empty. I'm going to be fighting to the end and looking to play spoiler for Alice to knock her out of the playoffs. Good luck with that.
Props to Show me the TDs for completely balling out against me with 176.6 points scored. This is what I get for saying they'd been lucky in one of my earlier recaps! Deebo Samuel scored 30 points, while three other players scored more than 20 (David Njoku, DJ Moore, and Brandon Aubrey). They are approaching the playoffs white hot and with as good a chance as any to win the inaugural Rad Dynasty chip. Despite the standings showing them in 3rd, they are actually in 2nd since they hold the tiebreaker against the similarly named TDs or Bust. They can clinch a playoff spot next week with a win against 4-10 Thunder Thighs - a team tied for last place.
Bluth Company (7-7) 137.82 vs Alice in Horns (8-6) 134.72
This was a devastating week for both teams. Despite the win, Bluth is now mathematically eliminated from the playoffs due to the outcomes of other games. Tough luck for this team as they currently stand as the third highest scoring team in the league. On the flip side, Alice went from being in a comfortable position to now having to fight for her playoff life in the final week of the season.
Bluth's team was led by three players scoring 20 or more points: Josh Allen (22.52), Drake London (24.2), and Breece Hall (22.6). Christian McCaffrey underperformed with "only" 17.30 points.
If Alice had gotten a better performance from Jordan Love (10.92 points) they probably would have won. Alice fielded a well-rounded attack with 9 players scoring in double figures. It just wasn't enough this week.
Turd Ferguson (8-6) 185.24 vs ned's rollers (10-4) 138.48
Who saw this one coming? Ned's team is in first place, but they got absolutely shellacked by my brother Chris. This was a must win for Turd Ferguson, as a loss would have most likely eliminated them from playoff contention. But now they've won 3 in a row and have a real shot at making the playoffs, depending on how week 15 goes. Ned has clinched a playoff spot already, but could drop as far down as the #3 seed depending on what happens in week 15.
Dak Prescott had a quiet week (by his standards) for Turd Ferguson with 21.94 points. The rest of the team was awesome, highlighted by Cooper Kupp (21.5), Ezekiel Elliot (25), Evan Engram (28.5), and Alex Singleton (24.5).
Ned's team was quiet by their standards. Jalen Hurts and Kenneth Walker scored in single figures. The IDP and the kicker were the bright spot for this team, as they combined for 50.5 points, over a third of ned's entire point total for the week.
The Killing Fields (8-6) 142.44 vs Thunder Thighs (4-10) 140.19
This was too close for comfort for The Killing Fields, who keeps their playoff hopes alive with a slim win over Thunder Thighs. Player of the week Lamar Jackson led the way for Thunder Thighs, followed by Austin Ekeler and his 20 points.
Stop me if you've heard this before, but The Killing Fields dominated with their IDP, who combined for 66 points. This is a team that week in and week out has massive IDP performances - which is something that is quite unusual for a fantasy team. Usually they are more up and down. But they've been up all year for CRA and his team. Hopefully the offense can pull it together for the playoffs, as this team's running back and tight ends have been flat out bad this season. I'd say you can't depend on your IDP forever, but the way they've been performing this year has proved me wrong!
TDs or Bust (9-5) 200.76 vs My Team (4-10) 117.54
Things continue to go downhill for My Team, as they were completely obliterated in this matchup. After starting the year 2-0, and later 3-2, they have now lost 7 of their last 8 games (that one win was against me, of course. Sigh). They square off against TBone's team in week 15, where the loser gets the #1 pick in next year's draft. That should certainly be a game.
TDs or Bust hasn't clinched a playoff spot yet, but they are playing just as well as anyone. They've won 5 of 6 and have a ton of momentum going for them. This team had nine what I would call "big games" from their players this week. There are too many to list, but Matthew Stafford (29.66) and Raheem Mostert (22.5) were the high players, while only four players scored in single figures.
BDB's Jet Setters (8-6) 154.10 vs TBone's Terrific Team (4-10) 96.90
BDB's team is the little team that could. Constantly underdogs, constantly coming out on top. They are now firmly in the playoff hunt. They'll need a little luck to get in, however, as they are the lowest scoring team in the playoff hunt, and it could very well come down to a 3 or more way tie - in which case it would come down to points. But just the fact that they are here is terrific.
BDB put together a well-rounded attack. They took a chance on Jake Browning and it paid off, as he scored 26.7 points. Joe Burrow who? Travis Etienne and Saquon Barkley had big games, while BDB's IDP also went off.
TBone's team was quiet in defeat. Only 3 offensive players scored in double figures (Gardner Minshew, Derrick Henry, and Tyler Lockett). The rest of the team didn't even bother to show up. Tight ends have been a problem for this team, as I've noted before. Durham Smythe and Tommy Tremble combined for 3.3 points, while Connor Heyward (on the bench) had 2.50 points.
Playoff Scenarios:
With one week left in the season, I'm gonna run down a few playoff scenarios. The only team guaranteed to be in the postseason is ned's rollers. If TDs or Bust beats the Killing Fields next week, they're in. Show me the TDs has a slightly easier path, as they are in if they can beat 4-10 Thunder Thighs. That would leave the #4 spot wide open if both teams win. Right now, four teams are tied for that 4th spot at 8-6. This is where things get complicated, even more so if any of the "TD" teams lose.
Turd Ferguson and BDB are tied at 8-6 and they play each other next week. The losing team is out. The winning team isn't necessarily in, though. the way things are going, I am anticipating a whole bunch of 9-6 ties. Remember, when there is a tie between two teams, the tiebreaker goes to head-to-head matchups. If that's a wash, then it goes to overall points. If there is a tie between more than two teams, the tiebreaker is solely determined by points.
It is all very complicated.
I'll make some predictions:
Alice beats Dynastic Dan. Alice is 9-6.
The Killing Fields upsets TDs or Bust. Both teams finish 9-6.
Turd Ferguson beats BDB. Turd Ferguson is 9-6.
My Team beats TBone. No playoff implications.
Thunder Thighs upsets Show me the TDs, who are now 9-6.
Ned beats Bluth. No playoff implications other than ned's seeding.
In this instance, five teams would be tied at 9-6. Ned is the #1 seed. The #2, #3, and #4 playoff spots would all be determined by points because of the massive tie, meaning Alice is the 2 seed, TDs or Bust is the 3, and Killing Fields is the 4. Turd Ferguson and Show me the TDs would be out - as they are the lowest scoring remaining teams.
Hopefully it does not come to that. Any and all of this could change depending on the outcome of just one of these games. Even the amount of points scored in a game could change someone's fate, like if Turd Ferguson's team completely goes nuclear this week.
There is no predicting what could happen. I just want everyone to be prepared for me to manually have to re-seed the playoffs, if it does come down to some kind of tiebreaker. If the TD teams both win, Show me the TDs holds the tiebreaker and would take the #2 seed - despite them being lower in Yahoo's standings. It is also possible there might be a two-way for that last playoff spot, at which point I'd have to give it to whoever holds the head to head tiebreaker, as opposed to Yahoo giving it to the highest scoring team. Please be prepared for this!!! I want no drama or controversy, as I've made these rules very clear from day one.
Draft Scenarios:
This could all get complicated, too. The loser of the Tbone/My Team matchup will have the #1 pick in next year's draft, even if Thunder Thighs loses - as Thunder Thighs holds both the points and head to head tiebreakers against both teams. Long story short: if Thunder Thighs loses, they have the #2 pick. If they win, they get the #3 pick. They are locked into one of those two spots.
Dynastic Dan is locked into the #4 pick. If Bluth loses, they are locked into the #5 pick. If Bluth wins, they could potentially get into a massive 8-7 tie with some teams above them that lose. At which point it will come down to points as a tiebreaker. They could potentially drop as far as the #8 pick if they win, so at this point it would almost be beneficial if they lost. But I am sure Bluth will try his best to knock first place ned down a few pegs in the playoff seedings next week, right?
After next week's games wrap up, the top 8 draft order will be set. The #9 and #10 picks will be the first two teams eliminated from the playoffs (with the normal tiebreakers in place). The runner up has the #11 pick, while the champ gets the #12 pick.
I'll post some useless predictions again.
1 Tbone's Team
2 Thunder Thighs
3 My Team
4 Dynastic Dan
5 Bluth
6 BDB
7 The Killing Fields
8 Turd Ferguson
9 TDs or Bust
10 Alice in Horns
11 Show me the TDs
12 ned's rollers
I'll close things out with a look at the current standings. Maybe looking at them will help you make sense of the mumbo jumbo I just posted.
Who am I rooting for in what should be a giant week 15 clusterfuck? As the commissioner, I always want to be impartial. But of course I'm going to be rooting for my brother Turd Ferguson to take it home. Go Chris, go!
