I hate fantasy football. I'm getting this out of the way before I move onto anything else. Before I get to the player of the week. Before I get to the results of this week's games. Before I get to the updated standings. Before everything. I hate fantasy football. You hear me? I hate it.
Okay, maybe I am just being a bit too overdramatic. Suffice it to say, my luck has been quite terrible so far this season. Not only in the Rad Dynasty, but it has bled over into my other leagues as well. Everything that can go wrong always seems to go wrong. Week after week after week... SIGH. I'm sure we've all been there. More on my unfortunate luck in this league to come.
Now that I've got that off my chest, time to move onto the player of the week. In case you couldn't tell from the photo up above, it is DJ Moore for Show Me the TDs. Moore had 8 receptions for 230 yards and 3 touchdowns, resulting in an even 45 fantasy points for Sean's team. Good job!
Okay, back to me bitching again.
Bluth Company (2-3) 195.14 vs Dynastic Dan (1-4) 184.32
Well, it finally happened. My team finally overperformed and put together one heck of a performance. Jamarr Chase was the second highest scoring player in fantasy this week, scoring 44.7 fantasy points. Devon Achane continued his strong play with an even 21 fantasy points. Jaylen Waddle and Kyle Pitts (!!!) scored in double figures. Even the IDP had a big showing as well. 184 points, that surely would be enough to win the matchup this week, right? Right? WRONG.
Here comes Bluth Company at 1-3 after being projected by Yahoo to go undefeated this season. They've been an up and down team, narrowly losing by 5 points last week. They came into this game as 11 point favorites against Dynastic Dan, and they showed us why. Everyone in their starting lineup scored in double figures with the exception of 3 players. Breece Hall, Josh Allen, and Gabe Davis all had big games in the win. Gabe Davis continues to haunt me. I had him on like all my fantasy teams last year and he was a big dud. This year I have him rostered nowhere and it seems like every week I go up against someone with him in their lineup and he has a big game.
Even though Bluth Company scored 195 points, the crazy thing about this game is that Dynastic Dan still had a very real chance to win - and maybe would have won if a whopping FOUR players didn't leave in the middle of the game with an injury. Anthony Richardson left in the second quarter with 4 fantasy points and did not return. If he stays in the game and scores his usual 18 to 20 something points: I win. SIGH. Khalil Herbert left with an injury in Chicago's big win against Washington. Chicago was up big and was going to be running the ball a lot. Herbert would have racked up the touches in that second half. SIGH. Although Devon Achane had a big game, it could have been bigger. He left in the second half of his game with an injury, and now I hear he is heading to the IR. SIGH. Even Darnell Savage, one of my IDPs, left his game early with an injury. It all added up to a 10 point loss for me.
Even when things go right for my team, they somehow manage to go wrong. I have an offensive explosion, but it still isn't enough because I got matched up against the freaking highest scoring team of the entire week. Not only the highest scoring team of the week, the second highest scoring game in the entire history of this league! And I still could have won that game if I didn't lose 4 freaking key players to injury. GOD. I hate fantasy football. Hate it. Hate hate hate hate hate hate it.
So who do I play next week?
My Team (3-2) 149.94 vs Turd Ferguson (2-3) 147.68
This was a super tight game, coming down to a measly 2 fantasy points. But in the second straight battle of brother vs uncle, uncle came out on top once again. Uncle Peter holds the tiebreaker, if needed, against Chris this season. Could be big down the road!
Jared Goff, Geroge Kittle, and Calvin Ridley were the high scorers for My Team. Turd Ferguson was led by Brock Purdy, AJ Brown, and Dallas Goedert. Cooper Kupp's return from the IR was successful as he scored 16 points for Turd Ferguson as well. It wasn't enough, however, as they ended up losing by 2.
Things don't get any easier for Turd Ferguson next week as the take on first place The Killing Fields. My Team will square off against ned's rollers, who lost today. Let's talk about that one now, shall we?
BDB's Jet Setters (2-3) 158.43 vs ned's rollers (3-2) 147.92
Ned's rollers dropped out of their first place tie with a loss to BDB's Jet Setters. In a bizarre scheduling quirk, these teams played each other after facing off in week 1. Ned's team won that matchup, so the season series between these two teams is tied, and will come down to points if or when the need for a tiebreaker arises in the future.
BDB's team was led by Justin Fields (41 points), Stefon Diggs (22), and Travis Etienne (34). The rest of the team didn't do much, however, opening the door for ned's rollers to make this a competitive game. Jalen Hurts and Fred Warner topped the 20 point mark for ned's team. Isaiah Pacheco, Jordan Addison, and Jake Elliott scored in double figures, but it just wasn't enough for team ned.
Next week ned squares off against my Uncle Pete in a battle of two 3-2 teams, while BDB will have their hands full with the red hot Bluth Company.
Alice in Horns (190.18) 4-1 vs Thunder Thighs (0-5) 99.69
Now that we've talked about some games that were close, now it is time to talk about a game that was not close. In fact, this may be the biggest blowout in league history.
It just hasn't been going well for poor Thunder Thighs. I thought I had it rough. Injuries to Austin Ekeler and Jonathan Taylor have crippled this team. The supporting cast hasn't done it much favors with some uninspiring performances. If things continue along this path, Thunder Thighs could be the winner for the #1 pick in the draft sweepstakes. The three big players I keep hearing about for next year are Caleb Williams, the USC quarterback, Marvin Harrison Jr, the Ohio State receiver, and Brock Bowers, the Georgia tight end. Could Mike be in line to have the pick of the litter in next year's draft? His team plays my team next week in a battle of cellar dwellers, so the outcome of that game will go a long way in the race to the #1 pick.
Anyway, back to this game. Thunder Thighs had the lowest scoring game in the history of the league so far, not even managing to hit 100 points. Lamar Jackson and Justice Hill were the only offensive players to crack double figures. The kicker and the defense made some noise, otherwise this really would have been a low scoring game. Romeo Doubs and Devonte Smith did Thunder Thighs no favors, as they combined for a whole 2 points even.
Alice in Horns had another dominant showing, as usual. This is definitely a team to be reckoned with this season. Who would have thought David Montgomery would be such a key contributor for the Lions this year? Joe Burrow finally returned to form with a 30 point game. The whole lineup up and down did great, scoring between 10 and 20 points from each player. Kyren Williams was the only position player in single digits scoring. The IDP put up numbers, too. That's how you get to 190 points: solid contributions from pretty much every spot on the roster.
The Killing Fields (4-1) 142.94 vs Tbone's Terrific Team (2-3) 117.11
The Killing Fields maintained their hold on the #1 seed, despite a subpar performance from many of their starters. Davante Adams, Brandon Aiyuk, Irv Smith, and James Conner combined for 19 fantasy points. Ouch. Stop me if I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but The Killing Fields IDP once again had a giant game in the win. It seems like every time the offense isn't clicking, the defense picks it up for this team. Some bad news: James Conner is heading to the IR with an injury. With bye weeks coming up the depth of this team will be put to a major test.
Tbone got some good production from Kirk Cousins and Tyreek Hill at the top of his lineup, but the rest of his team was eerily silent in the loss. Bad break for this team, as Amon-Ra St Brown was ruled out and left in the lineup with 0 points. Hard to win when one of your biggest stars lays a goose egg in your lineup!
Show Me the TDs (4-1) 147.77 vs TDs or Bust (3-2) 141.50
Last matchup of the week was a close one, as Show Me the TDs eeked out a 6 point win. Show me the TDs now sits at third place in the league, despite scoring 20 fewer overall fantasy points than my team, who sits in 11th place at 1-4. In our only head to head matchup in week 3, he scored a season high in points during his win against me. Did I mention yet how I hate fantasy football?
DJ Moore and his 45 points did a giant chunk of the damage for Show me the TDs. Tua, Josh Jacobs, and Logan Thomas also scored in double figure in the win.
TDs or Bust dropped to 3-2 after a 3-0 start. It was a tough luck loss for Perry's team, as Hunter Henry put up a goose egg and no one on the team reached the 20 point scoring plateau. Their matchup with Alice's team next week should be a good one. Hopefully Trevor Lawrence wakes up and realizes football season has started at some point in the next few weeks.
Here is an updated look at the standings after week 5:
I hate seeing my team so low at the bottom after putting together what I thought would be a competitive team. It's like this in another dynasty league I am part of, and it is driving me bonkers. Everyone overperforms against me, always. And then the next week they score 100 points. Enough with the complaining - I'm sure you've read enough of it already!
If the playoffs would start today, the matchups would be
1) The Killing Fields vs 4) ned's rollers
2) Alice in Horns vs 3) Show me the TDs
While all the bottom feeders battle it out for draft position. Just a reminder: NO TANKING! It's ok to lose if your team sucks, but if you purposely leave roster spots blank in order to lose, there will be consequences. Hasn't happened yet. Hopefully it doesn't come to that anytime soon.
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